It’s very common for couples’ sex lives to come to a halt or perhaps an rut. A lot of people who are in relationships for a long time tend to follow certain routines or patterns — how sex is attracted, what position you use, what time of day you have it. However, it’s vital to understand that in the case of sexual attraction, your desires and activity can fluctuate depending on the current events with your daily life, and how you’re being.

However, there’s plenty that can be made to spice up a sexually active life. A few of the things people mention they miss in relationships that last longer include the excitement, mystery and fun. In this way, anything that we can do to address or inject these missing aspects back into your sexual life is sure to make an impact. Here are 10 things you can try…

1. Try sending flirtatious messages through the day

It is common for interests to change and turn ons in time So think about creating a flirtatious , sexy space to explore these along with the person you love. You could try playful texting by using a separate application such as Wickr Me to add a touch of fun to your text messages — and then use it only for intimate communication.

This way, you can play around and bring a bit of mystery to your conversations. It can certainly make regular moments a bit more interesting if, via your secretive messaging application, you get a shocking photo of your companion when you least expect it.

2. Keep in mind to mix up your date nights

Always schedule time for date nights — be they scheduled or unplanned. You don’t need to get dressed together, or get ready at the same time and leave together. Instead, mix it up a bit. It’s enjoyable to get together with someone after work, or visit a hotel where your partner is waiting. You’ll hear a knock and you’ll be able to open it up onto an unknown, blank space that you’re able to let passion or fantasy guide you.

Even in lockdown, there is a way to add a lot of variety into date night just by mixing things up. Playfully initiate something when you partner is returning from somewhere. Have an enjoyable, lighthearted and relaxing events. Why not turn off the lights, play some tunes and enjoy cocktails?

3. Try a little role-play (if you’re at ease with it)

Role-playing can be a lot of and enjoyable. For some, it is more comfortable beginning with an app such as Dipsea to help generate ideas. Remember, if are looking to discuss the topic of role-playing with your partner it’s best to keep it fun and discuss your interests in a fun manner.

People are more likely to get shaky within a relationship if they feel their partner is bored of their sexual life or looking outside of the relationship to find inspiration — therefore the manner you handle the issue is really important. You can say ‘I’d like to see you wearing …’ or “I’d really like to have a go …’ rather than ‘I’d really love to see you together with my friend’because of obvious reasons…

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4. Even before you act on them, you can simply share your fantasies

It’s important to understand that “spicing things up” doesn’t always mean having orgies in the form of kinks. It could simply mean mixing things up. Instigate sex in a different space, or join your partner while showering, try to try foreplayand other stuff like this. Perhaps you can even express your interest in sharing fantasies.

To achieve this, you need to create an environment that is safe — maybe chatting about your dreams over a glass of wine, or even while giving the other a massage. There are people who feel embarrassed about fantasies, so it’s important not to be alarmist if the idea they’re presenting doesn’t positive experience for you. Once you’re at ease, you’ll be closer to the idea — just take a dip to start with, and then allow your natural curiosity to grow.

5. Introduce a little bit of danger to proceedings (but not for the sake of it)

Fast-paced, dangerous and high-risk sexual acts will certainly add spice to your sexual adventures — and can work very well to mix things out. Sometimes, thinking about thrills and experiences you’ve had in the past can be an attraction creating both a thrill for both you and your partner and a sexy bonding and memory-making experience.

The primary thing to take into consideration in this case is whether you’re searching to create an ongoing pattern. I’d advise against trying something just for the sake of it’ and, instead take a look at something only that is a real win-win for both of you.

6. Explore one another’s bodies

Body exploration with a couple can be very pleasurable. Spend 20 minutes focusing to each other by lighting candles with scents and relaxing music playing in the background- and focus on the emotions that are triggered within your body.

Try varying the amount of pressure or how you interact with your partner. And explore every part of the body by touching it with your lips, hands and oils, silk, feathers etc. It can be very sensual and beneficial to play with this new approach to intimacy. It can also enhance the pleasure and enjoyment of orgasms and feelings.

7. Accessories and other items shouldn’t be dangerous

The website I’m the Editorial Director for, Jooi, has been designed to be non-threatening -and has a particular approach to imagery and language. Some partners feel awkward or scared by what they find on the internet, so it’s worth talking about what you might be open to trying before you decide.

This might be an eye-lid, or oils. Perhaps a vibrator to stimulate one or both of you, a starter set. You could even buy this as a sexy surprise -and if you think that it would be a hit or suggest that you look up and search for items that go together.

8. You can try scheduling — but also be spontaneous

Both are great for couples. A lot of couples enjoy a bit of both. In the end, who wouldn’t want a hot, sexy date that they can make plans for and anticipate? It’s always worth reminiscing about things that you’ve both enjoyed in the past, and how they were handled. Think about the way you respond to spontaneously intimate conversations, possibly via flirty messages.

9. Stop repeating yourself in the bedroom

Think about mixing it around in the bedroom. Explore different ways to play — whether that’s positions, approach or foreplay. Many couples report that they typically use more or less of the sexual postures, and that foreplay can become repetitive.

It could be that, in certain situations it’s just sexual sex only — or that you add oil, mirrors, chairs, clothing , etc. It’s actually not too difficult to mix it when you’re both at the same levelhowever, it could take some thought and effort to ensure you don’t slip into routine or lazy, tired sexual sex (although it’s possible to do that, too. But maybe not every time!)

10. Keep in mind that you’re two distinct people

It is crucial. Firstly, make sure that your love life is good place. The level of satisfaction in your relationship can affect sexual satisfaction, and vice versa- so ensure you are working on your relationship on a general level. This means improving communication, and general intimacy and intimacy (if it has shifted).

Additionally, you shouldn’t combine two people into one or combine them. Each of you should have separate identities and differentiations as individuals. It’s not going to help in a sexual life when you’re closely that you’re doing everything together and are practically finishing each other’s sentences.