A heartfelt “Get Well Soon” from everyone at Kitman Towers to Joe Sayers. Joe will miss the rest of the season after being laid low on the eve of the championship game at Old Trafford by something called Post-Viral Fatigue Syndrome. Apparently that’s an energy sapping condition that can leave you “barely able to climb a flight of stairs” – a terrifying thought for those of us with no downstairs toilet and a frisky bladder.

Hopefully Joe will be back feeling 100% for the start of next season, as none of us want to see him become the first cricketer to take the field in a mobility scooter since Jimmy Ormond returned to the Oval after an unsuccessful off-season at adult fat camp.

Some of you might remember that the last Yorkshire player to suffer a serious illness was Simon Guy, back at the start of the 2009 season. You might also remember I helped in his recovery process by posting this image on site:

This was very much pitched at Simon’s main interest – things you should grab with both hands if they fly in your direction.

Joe of course is a more cerebral man. An Oxford Physics graduate. Someone who’d watch a subtitled film for pleasure rather than just to impress girls. For him I reproduce an image of the Brunel SP500 Infinity Microscope:

There’s a lovely pair of ocular lenses on that beauty, I think we can all agree…

Si’thee next season Joe,

Len

Moin Ashraf is the greatest bowler of his generation.

I have no idea if this statement is true. I have no evidence to confirm or refute it. How could I, Moin is yet to make his competitive debut for Yorkshire’s first XI.

But given how many hits this site keeps getting from people ‘google searching’ the term “Moin Ashraf cricket” – presumably a large, as yet untapped, fan-base – I decided to give Moin his own post complete with flattering title and a sequence of action shots of him bowling for the academy. I hope that satisfies all you Ashraf googlers out there.

As for the rest of you, just be happy I didn’t do something similar 18 months or so back when the old site was repeatedly hit by the search term, “Flintoff cock bulge”. (no, I’m not kidding)

Nice MC Hammer vibe in the middle shot, btw.

Si’thee later,

Len

(Photo, by kind permission, Dave Morton)

My thanks go out today to Lord Boycott of Fitzwilliam for this glorious quote.

“I don’t use Twitter. I don’t even know what the hell it is. To me it’s an ego trip. I have my own website, which is www.geoffboycott.com. So if you want to know about me, go on there.”

Run that past yourself once again, “to me it’s an ego trip. I have my own website”. Just like a Kookaburra ball it’s absolutely f#&king seamless.

By the way, I should point out that Mrs Len doesn’t use twitter either, although she too has her own website, www.mymagnificentaurawilllightuphumanityforever.com

My congratulations to them both for keeping their ego’s under check and turning the self aware dial up to eleven…

Len

In the words of Del-Boy Trotter, “We’ve done it; we’ve only gone and done it!” ‘It’ being to qualify for this year’s CB40 semi-finals, rather than saddle the world with another feckless cockney wide-boy.

We had to work hard to get there, mind. Ten wins out of eleven group matches being needed to ensure we progressed any further. Seem a bit of a tough ask to you? Well, that’s because the domestic fixture list – the ECB’s annual inoculation to stop cricket catching commonsense – was so crammed to the gills with the newly expanded 16 match T20 competition there was no more room for the CB40 to have quarter-finals. Hey presto, any team getting off to a slow start was out of the running before they’d played half their games, leaving them less than fully motivated opposition for sides quicker out of the blocks who then found themselves stuck in an endless loop where victory made little improvement to their overall chances of securing the one guaranteed qualifying spot in each group.

Ok, there are other more pressing problems for cricket to deal with at the moment, and in terms of making mistakes we’re not quite in ‘urinating on an electric fence’ or ‘waking up next to Amanda Platell’ territory; but it is another indication that as far as the ECB are concerned, increasingly desperate attempts to ring every last penny out of punters remain the first, last and everything in-between of their existence. As for the poor schmucks actually coughing up their hard-earned, they could stand in the middle of the Lords square doing naked star-jumps and still be completely ignored.

Another consequence of 20/20 pushing everyone and everything out of its path like Jabba the Hut zeroing in on a finger buffet has been the scheduling of the CB40 semi-finals the day before an ODI at Headingley. With the need for the semi to have a reserve day, that means Yorkshire get a bonus trip out to the seaside, and another packed house at Scarboough.

All well and good, but as delightful as North Marine road is, its 8,000 capacity will go no way to satisfying ticket demand and  leaves YCCC £100-150,000 short of the income they’d have got at Headingley. For a club with serious debts, in danger of posting a loss in next year’s accounts and trying to compete for the signing of Ryan Sidebottom that’s money they can ill afford to lose out on.

Si’thee later,

Len

Result: Yorkshire won by 4 wickets

My Man of the Match: Anthony McGrath

[Scorecard]

Ey up,

It is with great regret that I find myself having to defend my integrity against the scurrilous allegations of ‘spot fixing’ published in today’s Tadcaster Sunday Bugle (incorporating the Copmanthorpe Cronicle and Bolton Percy Free Advertiser).

I would like to go on record that my only connection to a “shady Indian bookkeeper” – namely Mr Patel, manager of Gordan’s Turf Accountants on Otley road – goes no further than my annual flutter on the Grand National and Mrs Len’s misplaced conviction that Olly Murs was going to win last year’s X-Factor.

I wholeheartedly deny passing on information about Yorkshire’s T20 game at Grace Road this year, in particular that the team would be wearing their new, God awful, yellow playing strip. It was not, as has been suggested, a change of kit enforced by my “deliberately sabotaging Yorkshire’s normal one-day outfit in exchange for a reconditioned Henry Hoover and two tickets to see The Lion King on Ice at Doncaster Dome in November”.

I can assure the Yorkshire public the change in kit was due entirely to a busy T20 schedule, combined with Anthony McGrath leaving a half-eaten curly-wurly in his trouser pocket when I did the previous night’s washing meaning the team faced a choice of turning out at Grace Road looking like diseased bananas or as if they were taking part in some kind of dirty protest. As Mags had already started to suck the goodness out of several pieces of kit on the coach journey up, the team decided to go for the lesser of two evils.

Any subsequent “betting irregularities” regarding Yorkshire’s appearance that night are not of my doing and I would suggest the information could have been provided by anyone who saw Mags walking to the way dressing room at Grace Road whilst still licking his way round Steve Patterson’s armpit. (the armpit on Steve Patterson’s shirt I mean, obviously).

As for now, I just wish for no more press intrusion. This has been an upsetting time for myself, Mrs Len, who still believes Olly Murs “was robbed” and most of all, Mags, who’d only just come to terms with losing that curly-wurly before this whole sorry business was raked over again…

Si’thee later,

Len

The cricket has actually improved. The old Yorkshire v MCC, Gentlemen v Players and T N Pierce’s XI v Tourists games were fine, but they were not real cricket. I was not old enough to tell the difference, back then, but after a lifetime of playing and watching I know cricket needs a competitive edge, however good the performers on show. The grace and beauty with which these top players delight us are a by-product of the game, not the purpose of it.

This year, on the Sunday, the sun shone on the players of Yorkshire and Middlesex, and both teams responded with an excellent 40-over match. On the best day of the entire summer the crowds poured in, surely the biggest Scarborough attendance since the 1950s. Happily, the behaviour was good, the whole day one to savour. And Yorkshire won.

We made 250, with Jacques Rudolph churning out yet another century, but I thought we were 20 runs short on an excellent pitch. Middlesex were up with the rate and strolling it until they were knocked off course by a fine spell of bowling by Adil Rashid, backed up by Anthony McGrath’s subtle wobblers.

Even then the game had a twist. The visitors’ captain Neil Dexter played a great little innings to put them back in with a chance, but our bowling – notably Mags’ final over – and fielding just passed the test.

If we fail to pull off the County Championship, as now seems likely, a 40-over Lord’s final would be a fitting reward for Andy Gale and the boys. They have entertained us richly in 2010, in both forms of the game.

And so to Monday and the main business of the County Championship. This day was as horrible as Sunday had been glorious, so Yorkshire and Hampshire found themselves contesting a 3-day match when the game got going on the Tuesday.

Again, a splendid crowd turned up to watch a first morning of much playing and missing as our left-handers did battle with the brilliant old show-pony Dominic Cork. Newly capped Adam Lyth battled his way to a half-century but a mini collapse early afternoon required remedial work from Gerard Brophy and Adil Rashid. They did not disappoint.

300+ looked a par score on a pitch that had done a little for anyone with the skill to exploit it. Cork, that is. I had also enjoyed my first in-the-flesh view of Hampshire’s young spinner Danny Briggs. Looks good. Very good. He had a great battle with Adil, who was trying to use his feet against him.

Wednesday morning provided much frustration for another sizeable crowd. While Jimmy Adams looked pretty solid, as he always does against Yorkshire, England hopeful Michael Carberry played and missed so often it was embarrassing. It seemed as though something important was missing in that vital link between eyes and brain and hands and feet. He never looked like getting an edge, let alone finding the middle.

In the end it was our other new cap, Richard Pyrah, who got him, and then a tremendous post-lunch spell by Ajmal Shahzad threatened to put Yorkshire on top. Briefly, all too briefly.

Adams, watchful and organised, and young James Vince came through Ajmal’s test and found themselves in waters as calm as the North Bay as the other Yorkshire bowlers struggled to get anything from what now looked a slow surface. Rashid, so good on Sunday, bowled horribly.

Any chance of victory had gone. Adams and the powerful Vince both fell just short of 200 and a declaration at lunch on the final day forced Yorkshire to apply themselves purely to the avoidance of defeat.

This was achieved without too much trouble, though Lyth was put to the test by Cork, bowling short with bat-pad man and leg-gully. Adam failed this examination and can expect much more of the same next season unless he finds a way of coping. It is a weakness in his method that could prevent him taking the next step up that we, his admirers, would love to see.

Anyway, by the time the game had petered out into the inevitable draw, I was enjoying the dubious delights of the westbound A64.

I shall return next season, now that the agreement between County and Club and Sponsors is signed and sealed, 100 days of county cricket at Scarborough over 10 years, if I understand correctly.

Peasholm Park, Oliver’s Mount, ice-cream and seagulls, the Grand Hotel, the Regal Lady (heroine of Dunkirk), dads & lads playing cricket on the beach, the dappled sunlight on cliffs and castle – all will be the same. Even the rain.

Scarborough without end. Amen.